Saturday, December 11, 2010

Rape is not a crime?

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word rape? I asked a couple of my friends this and they answered mostly Horror while others said disgusting. But quite a few of them made jokes. Well, I now know to stay away from those who made jokes.

But for me the first thing that comes to mind are people like this.


This was the status of one of my friends on facebook. I was quite surprised because not only is the person intelligent but is also studying to get into criminal law. I guess defending criminals is important in the career and this is how they’ve started practicing. 

Women and men who think that it is a joke, that they can make fun of it because it makes them look cool or nonchalant are what makes the world a worse place to live in. Did you know that in India, 5,368 cases of child rape alone were reported in 2009 with Madhya Pradesh accounting for the maximum of 20 per cent cases followed by Uttar Pradesh, Maharashtra and Andhra Pradesh.

One can only imagine the pain that these kids go thought. They might be worse than the pain that grown women go though. It seems that just when our world is going forward that things and people like this are waiting to pull it further and further into the depths.

Take into account the following statistics, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be a victim of sexual assault in their lifetime. College age women are 4 times more likely to be sexually assaulted. Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted and 60% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police even though reporting has increased by about 30% since 1993. This is depressing isn’t it. Now for the more depressing news, Approximately 73% of rape victims know their assailants and only 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail.

It is found, in places like India, that the woman is blamed for the assault. Most cases are not reported because parents, siblings or “loved” ones think that it was the girl’s fault and therefore she should be punished. As if she hadn’t suffered enough, parents beat the girl up for allowing herself to be victimised. I was having a conversation with one of my friends about this and he said. “Being raped is NOT the girl’s fault and any prick who thinks so should be anally violated.” Although I don’t think that violence is the answer in most cases, when it comes to rape i think that there is no better solution.

The number of foreigners who holiday in India, mostly Goa, suffer by becoming rape victims and most Indian people will not take their complaints seriously because they think that the girls invited it upon themselves for wearing bathing suits. What more can you expect from a country that makes men marry the women that they raped as a form of punishment or as a solution to save the “honour” of the girl’s family. The girl has not suffered enough by being raped once, I guess, they want to make her live with the monster that tormented her. Not only will she have to see his face in her nightmares, but she has to see face to face every day of her life. Are we saving her or are we punishing her?

A BBC survey says that most women want rape victims to take the blame. I am sure that these are women who have either never been raped or are dealing with their husbands/sons/brothers being blamed for the rape.

Rape victims are not to be blamed or punished. They need love and protection. Most rape victims, especially those who are victims of gang rape, child rape or spousal rape are the ones who suffer the most. They find it hard to trust anyone ever again. I’m going to share the experience of someone who is really close to me, with her permission of course.

A girl, who was working on a project with a classmate at her home, they had been assigned to do the project together. She served two glasses of juice, one for herself an another for the guy. She only remembers that much. She regained consciousness an hour or so later with the guy on her and panicked. They guy got away. She has no idea what happened except that the guy said that it was her fault because she invited him into the house. She didn’t tell anyone, not even her boyfriend, because she was afraid that she would be blamed.

Another girl I know was drugged and gang raped in a dance class by the others who were training with her including the assistant dance master. They recorded it and threatened to expose the video if she didn’t continue to oblige them. Like I said, it’s people like this that make the world a worse place to live in.

In both these cases the girls refused to tell their families and friends for entirely different reasons. But whatever the reason, at the end of the day, the men got away with it and the girls have to live with it forever. And it isn’t just the women who suffer, a man who has been assaulted by men or women gets laughed at or avoided. If its a woman who assaulted him then he is laughed at and told to enjoy it. Men have feelings too and they are capable of getting hurt and feeling insecure. Sexual assaults are not just aimed at women.

Right now, as I am writing this article, someone might be getting assaulted or someone may be getting punished for being victimised. Someone might be suffering in silence because she is two scared to tell anyone else.

When I was writing this post I was checking online for a few references and found this wikepedia article on the types of rape. Summing it up with a list kind of takes away the horror of something like this. But it’s true horror remains with those who have been victimised. Are we doing something to protect ourselves and our loved ones? Or are we ignoring the girl who had the guts to actually come forward and demand justice.

Are we making jokes about it like the girl in the picture about or are we trying to take a stand against this. Whatever your stance, just think of the victims and try to see from their point of view.

It’s women who blame other women that make men commit more crimes. And men who tell other men to enjoy being assaulted by women that make men fear coming out openly about such incidents.

I just wanted to pour my heart out. Seeing this status first thing in the morning has really affected my day.




aniruddh89 said...

I will give u an advice : "Remove that stupid guy from ur friends list..!!, If possible just punch him and say that it was from my side"

Enigmaticfille said...

It's a girl. That's what shocked me the most.

Lakshmi Rajan said...

What kind of mindset people would have to think that rape is a surprise. Eeeks. Double shocking to know its a girl who thinks so.

- Lakshmi rajan

Jennifer said...

I understand your point, but in small situations it can be kinda funny, and if someone posted that as a status I'd probably just shake my head and keep scrolling.

Once I went to a play where I had quite a few friends acting in it and one of them came up behind me and tackle-hugged me and goes "It's not rape, it's a surprise!" And it caught me so off-guard it was kinda funny.

I definitely understand that the status isn't really funny, or whatever. Because rape definitely is not a fun situation. I'm just saying I would try not to be too sensitive to it. People that post stuff like that don't mean any harm.

Enigmaticfille said...

@jennifer this girl is definitely an ass because two of her best friends have been through hell (rape) and she knows how they've suffered. I can see how that situation is funny but this girl kinda shocked me.

Anshul said...

This is the first time I came to ur blog (found it through Indiblogger). What brought me here was the title of this post- I feel very strongly about this issue.
Sad to see that despite being a girl your friend can be so insensitive.
I saw a video of Sunitha Krishnan's fight against sex slavery. Do watch it and ask your friend to watch it too.
Anyway, nice write up. Keep it up. Will visit again for sure.

Enigmaticfille said...

thanks and will do.

Vee... said...

nice write up. so did that friend of urs who post the insane status msg on his fb get to see ur blog post?
if not, u shud let him know what people think of him through this.